Back to School and Marriage

Utah State University. In the fall of 1958, I again enrolled at Utah State University. To avoid being drafted into the Army, I applied to re-enter the Air Force Reserve Officers' Training Corps. Both the Professor of Air Science and the Commandant of Cadets were Mormons and had an understanding of the maturity one gains from serving a mission. After some initial resistance from AFROTC authorities, because I missed the second year of instruction being at Ricks College, I was allowed to join the program on probation. As I was now a junior in college, I enrolled as a third year cadet but had to take some second year courses, and I did not collect the usual small amount of money to which third year cadets were entitled.

Although I had no specific goals, the thirty-month experience in Denmark had added considerable maturity and significantly enhanced my confidence in my ability to excel. Therefore, I determined that I would become involved in all facets of university life and make the very most of the experience. I lived in the Delta Phi House with other returned missionaries and turned to the business of school and social life.

Having developed an interest for languages with Danish, I enrolled in a German class and found I had a remarkable talent for learning languages. No longer interested in playing football or even in being a coach, I followed the advice of the head of the language department and became a language major. With German as my major, I needed a minor and settled on Russian. This forced me to start learning Russian as a second quarter student without the benefit of the introductory instruction. I suspect this is one of the reasons why I never fully mastered the Russian language.

I was active in church activities and served most of my junior year in college as president of the Ward's Young Men's organization–at the time called YMMIA. This afforded me the opportunity to grow both spiritually and socially, while also causing me to to hone my administrative skills.  

In all, I was in a position to meet and date a good share of the eligible young ladies on the campus. Having figured out that I was not going to marry the girl from Denmark, I was on the lookout for the right one.

Faith. In the spring of 1959, I saw a lovely young girl in the university field house during an assembly practice. I was frankly a bit surprised to find such a pretty girl who had escaped my attention. I immediately set out to learn her name and other relevant facts. Her name was Faith Dye, but I was told not to bother because she was waiting for a hometown fellow who was on a mission. I could only respect that and therefore did not pursue my interest until I perceived sufficient encouragement for me to do so. It took only a very short time before I decided she should have all my attention. She responded positively and we began to see each other at every opportunity. By the time school was over in the spring, we had decided to get married. By mid-summer we were engaged and on September 14, President Raymond married us in the Logan LDS Temple over which he presided. I frequently tease her with the accusation that she proposed. Actually, it was me. But at one point in our courtship she did suggest rather straightforwardly that we become “pinned” or engaged to be engaged. I admit, however, that her memory differs from mine on this point.

Faith was just nineteen with only one year of college. Perhaps love itself does not require an explanation, but for the benefit of my descendants who may read this after I'm long gone, I'd like to attempt some clarification. When I first saw Faith, it was her obvious beauty that provided the attraction. She was neither large nor small, about five feet four inches tall weighing about 115 pounds, which were well distributed in all the right places. As we grew to know each other, I perceived an inner beauty and purity that transcended her physical beauty. Yet, she was often insecure and unsure of herself. This awakened my protective instincts and caused me to want to take care of her. Obviously, I had grown up with various mental images about what I wanted and expected in a wife and Faith appeared to be all those things. She was very faithful in the church and she was a farm girl, having grown up in Neola (near Roosevelt) in Utah. These things were part of the attraction.

When she first took me out to meet her parents, she was extremely nervous. Their house was less than modest, and Faith's relationship with her father and mother was more complex than I then realized. Two events from that visit deserve recording as they demonstrate Faith's closeness to the farm environment. First, not long after we arrived, her younger sister, Kay, told Faith she could not ride her horse. Before the words were out of Kay's mouth, Faith was outside, on the horse, and galloping down the road at full speed. In the other noteworthy event, she and I somehow agreed to a cow-milking contest. She won. I always argued it was because they were her cows and unused to the feel of a masculine grip; the truth is that she was better.

In addition to my feelings for Faith, I was confident she would present me with the strong healthy children I desired. These may seem like rather trivial reasons for getting married, especially to someone who is romantically inclined, but the feelings I felt for her when she was nineteen now stand in the shadow of time and have been strengthened by the years of sharing, overcoming difficulties, and being parents to our seven children.

Missionary in Denmark (1956-1958)

The idea of being a missionary had been rather firmly imprinted on my mind throughout my youth. Many of my friends had already departed by the time I reached the age of twenty. Thus, I did not enter college in the fall of 1955, but decided to get a job to earn some money to help support myself while on a mission. So I worked as a "swamper" on the sugar end of operations at the Lincoln Sugar factory where sugar beets were processed into table sugar. Dad and Wayne also both worked at the factory. I was strong as an ox and from time to time I was able to go down and allow Dad to rest from stacking 100 pound sacks of sugar. But most of the time I was involved in ensuring the order and cleanliness of the operation.

There was never a question in my mind about where I wanted to serve a mission – it had to be Denmark! When the mission call finally arrived, there was considerable joy on my part that the call was indeed to Denmark. The Lincoln LDS Ward held a missionary farewell for me, as was the custom at that time. I bid farewell to family, friends, and a girlfriend (at that time Linda Johnson from the same ward). On January 4, 1956, I entered the mission home in Salt Lake City for a week's preparation before actually departing for Denmark. We boarded a Union Pacific train in Ogden, Utah on January 14 for the trip to New York City and the ship, which was to take us to Europe. We stopped briefly to view Niagara Falls in the depth of winter.

It was on January 18, that our ship, the M.S. Berlin, sailed from New York harbor for Gothenburg, Sweden. The North Sea in January, strange food, and an old ship (the ship had formerly been the Swedish ship Gripsholm) did not make for a pleasant trip. I spent several days so seasick I thought I might die. Nonetheless, we all weathered the trip and arrived in Sweden on January 29. We took a train from Gothenburg to Copenhagen, arriving there the same evening in time to attend church. That was, for all practically purposes, the first time I had heard the Danish language spoken.

My first assignment was as junior companion to Laurel D. Madsen, working in the Frederiksberg section of Copenhagen, within easy walking distance of the mission headquarters located a Priorvej 12. Almost immediately, I began an intensive study of the Danish language. I read from the Book of Mormon in Danish before I understood what I was reading. I was determined to learn the language well and quickly. I did.

Bornholm

After approximately three months, on May 1, 1956, I was transferred to the Island of Bornholm, located in the Baltic Sea between Sweden and Poland. The transfer was brought about because one of the local girls in Copenhagen had written me a love letter. So I was banished to the isle of Bornholm. Living in the town of Rønne, my mission experience really began; the time spent in Copenhagen had largely been preparation. My first companion on Bornholm was Gilbert C. Olsen, who had only a limited amount of time left before he was finished and returned home. There were no members of the church on Bornholm, yet we were well known. Little kids would sometimes throw rocks at us singing, "here come the Mormons" as rode our bikes home after a day's activities.

Bornholm had none of the things usually typical of cities; it was really the "old country" as I had grown up to think of it. But it was in every respect beautiful, peaceful, and tremendously pleasant. The Bornholmers called it the Pearl of the Baltic Sea (Østersøens Perle), and I soon grew to love both the island and the people.

Despite the fact that there were no Mormons on the island, we held regular meetings with often as many as 20 investigators and friends present. I was thrust into the middle of the experience having to speak in meetings, conduct, lead the singing, and generally become part of the whole experience – all in a foreign language. Later we taught Relief Society, Primary, and all else which belongs to the program of the Church.

Although most never joined the church, some of the lovely people with whom we worked closely and grew to love were Villy Bidstrup and family, Fru Mynster-Kofoed, Herlev Nielsen and family, Peter Espersen and family, Johannes Lund and family, and Mrs. Kofod (a very old lady who eventually joined the church). Mrs. Espersen, Mrs. Nielsen, and the Lunds did finally join the church. However, the Lunds eventually divorced and become inactive. Brother Lund was the first Branch President in Rønne.

Nielsen Family

My second companion on Bornholm was James P. Madsen, who arrived from Copenhagen. He had been remarkably successful in the city and lacked the patience and understanding to work well with "my" Bornholmers. I suppose my farm experiences were helpful because I could communicate well with the islanders who didn't have much use for the sophistication of the city.

Three months later, I received another new companion, Darrell Hintze, who was such an unusual person. He caused considerable consternation among the mission leadership, but I learned to love him a great deal. After the people got used to his unique personality, I believe they also thought a great deal of him. Looking back, I guess I can say he was my favorite companion.

There were a great number of faith-promoting incidents I might report about my time on Bornholm, but they are perhaps best considered in light of my journal that I kept at the time. I might, however, recall the explicit change that took place in the lives of the Johannes Lund family after they joined the church. Most remarkable was a physical transition from near ugliness to near beauty which took place in Mrs. Lund as she quit smoking, took new interest in spiritual matters and generally reoriented her life. Thus it was with a fair amount of sadness that I have learned of the Lunds' divorce and subsequent inactivity. But the wisdom and experience of age have taught me to accept such things with no thought of condemnation.

We had many investigators, or at least people who liked us and came to our meetings and parties. In particular, I remember the Christmas Party we threw in 1956. Among other things, I played my trumpet and sang “I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” in Danish. 

Christmas Party on Bornholm 1956

On February 1, 1957, I arrived in the city of Aalborg in northern Denmark, having been transferred from Rønne to this city to serve as District President. I was just twenty-one years old, and it was a heavy responsibility to preside over branches of the church in Frederikshavn, Hjørring, Skive, and other smaller groups, as well as Aalborg. I also had responsibility for the fifteen to twenty missionaries who labored in the district. It was, however, easier than the task assigned to me later when I was called to be Branch President in Aalborg. This later calling was thrust upon me in the wake of accusations of adultery aimed at the former branch president and the president of the Relief Society.

With the help of two Danish brethren, Eli Hansen and Sven Johansen, I became the temporal and spiritual leader of the 150 or so members of the church in Aalborg. I believe I acquitted myself reasonably well in this calling, grew close to the members, missionaries, and friends whom I served while in Aalborg.

As a missionary, I was expressly forbidden from addressing female members of the church (or any female, for that matter) with the familiar "du" form in Danish or from being closer than arm's length to a member of the opposite sex. Despite these restrictions, I did develop rather strong feelings for a beautiful young lady in the Aalborg Branch named Jette Petersen. It is difficult in retrospect to evaluate my feelings for her. Her parents, particularly her mother, appeared to have picked me as their future son-in-law and they became my adoptive parents. Having no other family in the country to turn to, my companions (first Edmond Tucker and then John Butikofer) and I turned to that fine family to provide home-cooked meals, a living room, and all the intangibles a family provides. Naturally, the attraction grew although it allowed little more than touching hands under the dishwater.

Loving Denmark and the Danes as I did, I certainly would have chosen this fine young lady for my wife had the situation remained static, but it didn't. A year or so later, when I returned home and was a student at Utah State University, she came to the states with the intention of getting married. I panicked. Being caught up in the activities of the University, I found her a bit of a nuisance, an outsider with a foreign accent, an intruder into my new and neatly packaged world. I treated her as poorly as I have ever treated anyone in my life. My conscience has bothered me ever since. I have even had bad dreams about her coming to Utah to marry me and I almost totally ignoring her. To make matters worse, she finally married some fellow from Syria who caused her enormous emotional and physical grief. Later, while serving in Vietnam, I felt the need to apologize and wrote her mother. She was gracious in responding to me, acknowledging my apology, but noting that what had since transpired caused my ill-treatment of her daughter to pale in light of what the Syrian had done. This was not too reassuring. There is a small postscript to all this. One day in 2010 I received a note from her on Facebook. With the help of the American and Danish embassies in Damascus, she was able to return to Denmark where she eventually married a fine fellow. We correspond occasionally.

Aalborg was a great experience; I enjoyed the leadership responsibilities and challenges of being branch president. I also baptized a young girl named Tina Thomsen who later lived with us for a short time in Berlin, eventually moved to Idaho, and subsequently served a mission in Norway. She and her husband, Roy Olsen, later served as senior missionaries in Odense, Denmark. Yet, the six months I spent in Aalborg do not elicit any outstanding memories other than the pleasant nature of responsibility and the joy of association with the Danish members and other missionaries.

Tina Thomsen

On July 24, 1957, I was called to be second counselor in the presidency of the Danish Mission. I moved to Copenhagen. This responsibility allowed me to observe and participate in the administrative functions of the mission, to help decide missionary transfers, and generally assume responsibility for the leadership of all the missionaries in Denmark. A portion of our time was dedicated to planning conferences of all the members throughout the country as well as various missionary activities. One of the most enjoyable portions of my responsibilities was traveling to the various branches of the church. During the year I was in the mission presidency, I visited nearly every town in Denmark. It was a productive time and I grew to love and respect President Holger P. Petersen, who was mission president, and Torkil Dressø, who was first counselor. Incidentally, Brother Dressø lived to be 107 years old and was for a long time the oldest person in Denmark.

Mission Presidency

When it was time to return home, I concluded that I wanted to extend my missionary time, move to the Faroe Islands, and become a regular missionary again. I was also excited at the prospect of learning to speak the Faroese language that was very close to Old Norwegian, or ancient Scandinavian. At the time, however, all the General Authorities were in New Zealand at the temple dedication and, therefore, we were unable to get either confirmation or denial of my extension request. So, in August 1958, I was released from my mission and thirty months of teaching the tenets of Mormonism to the Danes. How do I view those months? They were unequivocally some of the most important, enjoyable, and rewarding in my life. It was not the best time, but certainly most significant in charting the future course of my life. I recall I became so involved in missionary activity that I quit writing to the girl back home who was supposed to be waiting for me. (She married three days after I returned home.)

Before leaving Denmark, I purchased a new 1958 Volkswagen for about 1200 dollars and drove down through Hamburg, Germany and over to Rotterdam, Holland, where I put it on a ship to New York. I then continued on to Brussels, Belgium to the 1958 World's Fair, then to England to visit an old friend, Kenneth Prestwich who was serving at that time in the Air Force at Chicksands. I then caught the SS United States ship and returned home to New York. The trip took five days. In stark contrast to the voyage to Europe, this was in the summer and most enjoyable. I stayed up all the final night on board the ship so I could savor the vision of the Statue of Liberty as we entered New York harbor.

The drive across the United States in my new Volkswagen was enjoyable without any difficulty. Barr Petersen was with me and we stopped to visit Dick Jensen in Milwaukee where we attended a baseball game in which Vernon Law (a Mormon) pitched for Pittsburgh.