Father's Day

Dad passes on. Dad passed away on October 30, 1983 while I was in Texas. My sister, Eula, had called me to say that he was sick and in the hospital. I flew to Idaho Falls immediately. The doctor had diagnosed lung cancer that was terminal. He mentioned the possibility of chemotherapy, but noted it would only slow up the inevitable and cause Dad a great deal of discomfort. I voted no. I checked Dad out of the hospital and drove him home. He worried about how Mother would get along without him; he had been helping her dress and do the housework for years. Since he had never smoked a cigarette in his life, he did not understand why he, a farmer who worked outside all his life and never had anything to do with asbestos, should get cancer of the lungs. Knowing his illness was terminal, he took it all rather calmly and did nothing to fight the inevitable. He died within a month after learning he had cancer. I spoke at his funeral.

During this period, I accidentally heard my brother, Wayne, speak to Dad about the hereafter. Wayne had gone into Dad to ask him to find Wayne's son, Mark, and also his infant daughter, Sandra, as soon as Dad got on the other side. It was perhaps the most poignant witness of the testimony of the gospel I have ever witnessed. It shook me to the core of my being.

I cannot speak enough of my father. I loved him, as I believe all of us did, with an incredible fervor. I have no special explanation for the feelings I have always had for Dad. Perhaps I knew he loved me. He was neither rich nor famous. He was just my Dad. I think of him every day. The following obituary was printed in the Post Register on October 31, 1983:

LeRoy Maurice Hansen, 81, a farmer, died at his home Oct. 30 of cancer. He was born Sept. 23, 1902, in Smithfield, Utah, the son of Erastus and Annie Marie Gamet Hansen. He lived at Smithfield and then moved to the Lincoln area where he has lived since. He attended schools at Lincoln. He married Amy LaVon Buttars June 18, 1924, in the Logan, Utah, LDS Temple. He has farmed all of his life.

He has been an active member of the LDS Church.  He is survived by his wife; three sons, Maurice V. Hansen, Grand Junction, Colorado, and Vienna, Austria, Wayne Lynn. Hansen, Washington, D.C.; one daughter, Mrs. Larry Baldwin Eula, Idaho Falls; 17 grandchildren; 20 great-grandchildren; five sisters, Loveda Peterson, Lydia Perry, Hilda Burnham and Leona Johnson, all of Idaho Falls and Hortense Andrus of Ucon and one brother, Leland Hansen, Iona.

Funeral services will be Thursday at 1 p.m. at the Lincoln Third LDS Ward Chapel. Bishop Larry Acor will officiate. The family will meet with friends Wednesday from 7:30 to 9 p.m. at Wood Funeral Home and Thursday, one hour prior to services, at the church.  Burial will be in Fielding Memorial Park.

I was distraught at Dad’s passing. While putting on a good face, I wept inwardly for a very long time. During this period, I wrote an amateurish poem that helped capture my feelings.

When I was a boy I looked up at my Dad.

One might think now I'd be a little sad,

For now it seems I look down at him.

He has grown smaller and somewhat thin.

But when I was small,

He was the biggest Dad of all.

And oft I looked up to see

If maybe he was looking down at me.

As time passed and I grew,

There was nothing my Dad couldn't do.

Why in baseball, a curve he could throw

And on the trumpet, a mean tune he'd blow.

But insignificant were such things,

Beside the wisdom and love his image brings

To me still. For now I have a father's joys

And know the questioning eyes of girls and boys.

When I was a boy I looked up at Dad.

I'm not sorry, nor remorseful, nor sad.

For even though I now look down at him,

I will throughout all eternity look up to him.